School, a First for One Young Man!

We are in the beginning weeks of the Nica school year with all the boys attending.  Schools are tightening their policies of appropriate criteria to enter school.  Most and I mean most of the males of Nicaragua are uneducated.  Young men either drop out of school in their 3rd year or don’t attend at all.   If you are a male and decide you want to continue pursuing your education after a time away from school, then it is almost impossible because of the age restrictions imposed by the schools and proof of the last grade completed.  Getting records of the last grade completed can be difficult because generally they never completed a grade.  Also, if they move around a lot, the records get lost or they are too far away to go back to the community to retrieve records.

Having said all that, we are so excited that 2 of our boys are in school, Noel and Israel.  San Sebastian is a small privately funded school that was an answer to our prayers.  This is Noel's 2nd year at the school  He was several years out of school before we discovered San Sebastian.   Israel had only been to school 1 year in his brief life and did not complete that year.   We are very grateful to the director of San Sebastian for agreeing to allow Israel to attend school. 

Both boys are combining the 5th and 6th grades into one year of study.  When they complete this year of school, they will have an official "promotion certificate" that should allow them to proceed to the secondary (high school) level.  

Noel and Israel have birthdays in July and they will be 19 years old.  Think of it, 19 years old and studying at the 5th & 6th grade level.  I am so very proud of the boys for their courage to be in a classroom of younger students.  This privilege also speaks of the character of the boys and the trust that the director has in them to conduct themselves in a manner that is not threatening to the other students.

Freddy is returning to Jose Madrid for his 8th year of study.  He is 2 years older than his peers, but that is not a critical age difference.   He has 4 years remaining before he gets his final graduation certificate.  Freddy has a problem with staying focused.  This could be a result of poor nutrition in his earlier years or ADD.  We are not trained to make a proper evaluation.

Once we received the decision from the school director to allow Israel to attend school, we had the task of shopping for school supplies at the last minute.  We want to especially thank Randy, Steve and Moni for their generous donations which allowed us to get all that was needed to prepare the boys for school.  The funds also helped to pay the bus fare for the first month and purchase a pair of prescription glasses. Israel has been having vision problems.   I noticed that he had difficulty reading when we were having English classes.  He could not read anything unless it was close to him.  The donations  allowed us to have his eyes tested and purchase the needed glasses.   

Shopping was quite an adventure; these boys have definite ideas on how they want to look.  If you have ready any of our past posts, appearance to a Nicaragua male teen is their top priority.   The boys were frantically trying to find pants that  had tapered legs, they did not want to accept the fact that they were limited to the type of shirts and pants they were allowed to wear.  All students in Nicaragua are required to wear the basic white shirt and blue pants or skirt.  Each boy was bought 3 shirts, 2 pants, shoes, underwear, socks, backpacks and school supplies.   (side note: The other day when I was doing laundry, I was joking with the boys that they never had so many pair of underpants before)

                                                   

We had to stay on our toes because the vendors want to take advantage of the gringos.  Everything gets priced to us far above what a local would buy it for.  When the boys are with us, they help to talk the price down to a more manageable sum.  There are no dressing rooms in the market, so usually the boys are bare chested in the aisles trying on shirts.  Or they might be behind a blanket held up by a worker so they try on pants in private.  How many workers do you think sneak peaks at the boys?  Just wondering......

The boys are very happy to be going to school. They understand that it is crucial to their future to get an education.  All the boys had been studying English as part of our vocational program for the last 8 months and are doing very well.  The boys understand English quite well and Israel is especially good in speaking the language.  There is a world of possibilities that await them and they are on their way to discovering them.  Homework is sometimes overwhelming for them because they are so far behind in their years of study compared to their peers.

There was an election for class president at San Sebastian and ended in a tie.  The teacher broke that tie by announcing her choice for president - our Israel.  She said she felt that he would be the most responsible of the two.  Another proud moment for us.  

Friends, donors and partners, we can't begin to describe the difference that your support has made in the lives of our boys.  They are proof that anyone can turn their lives around with the loving support of others. And those of you who have blessed us with your visits, you have seen first hand the exceptional boys that they are.  They are loving, kind, desiring to grow into Godly men and forever grateful that you care enough to help them.

If you want to continue to support them, our donation page is safe and easy to use.    So much of their life is about study now, but as teenagers they need other things to occupy their minds and time.  They each have musical talent and desire to continue with lessons that have been halted indefinitely due to funding. Noel plays the drums, Israel the piano and Freddy the saxophone.  Please keep in mind that we strive to use every dollar wisely.  Using your debit and credit cards cost us in processing fees. Would you consider making your donation by check draft?     https://www.egivingsystems.org/37718

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all you do for them.  

A Typical Day with Freddy

Today started just like all the others, breakfast and then group devotion.   We like to gather in our room, it's quiet, comfortable and intimate. The boys bring in chairs if they don't want to sit in the rockers, I'm on the bed along with the dogs who are taking their early morning nap, and Preston is seated at the desk.

Noel has recently chosen to be the reader of the daily devotion.  We are reading from the book "Jesus Calling".  The message of the devotions in this book speak of experiencing God's presence.   So, Noel begins to read the devotion and I follow along the best I can because it is read in Spanish.  I scan the others in the room and see that Freddy may not be paying attention to the reading.  I stay quiet and watch Freddy.  Now, to be fair, if I'm watching Freddy, then possibly I might not be paying attention as well as I should to what is being read.  But, Freddy has really got my interest.  As I write this I have to laugh because it is so comical.



The reason for Freddy's lack of attention and his most recent obsession is, Preston's feet. Preston has his feet propped up on the desk and Freddy is poking them.  He pokes here, he pokes there, and Preston is letting him.  This is a surprise because Preston usually doesn't let anyone touch his feet, he is horribly ticklish. Freddy is very intent on poking and looking at Preston's feet.  Next, he measures the size of Preston's feet with his hand.  Remember, this is all going on during the reading of the daily devotion.

After the reading, it gets to be too much for Freddy and he has to ask questions of Preston about his feet; how big are they, why do you have these bumps, do they hurt?  Forget about the discussion that usually takes place after the reading, today that is not on the radar screen.  The feet is what has the attention now by all the others.

We go from discussing Preston's feet, to discussing Shaq's feet (you know, the basketball player), to who can stand up and touch their hands to the floor without bending their knees.  Somewhere along the way, we have completely lost sight of our morning purpose and this seems to be the course that we yielded to.

We did get back to the devotion and it's meaning in each of our lives, but today I trust that we needed to let things flow in a different direction.  It was a time to allow the boys to just be boys.  To be silly and be comfortable with openly expressing themselves.  Sitting in a family environment and experiencing the everyday silly things of life is a fairly new concept for the boys.  For so many years they were never allowed to be children.  And today, it was important for them to just BE.

Earlier in the week, I was talking to Israel about Freddy and his need to always be touching something, to be checking out something, to be moving something.  Is it curiosity or ADD?  I haven't got it figured out yet; but this story is just a little glimpse into life with Freddy.

While I'm sitting at the desk trying to get my computer up and running again after a major overhaul. Freddy walks into the room shirtless but he does have a shirt in his hands.   He walks over to the TV room and stands in front of the TV.  He takes one hand and wipes all the dust off the top and back of the TV.  Then he takes the shirt and spreads it out on top of the TV;  it's his Barcelona shirt.  I look at him, laugh heartily and I ask him "Should we pray over the game today,  too?"  "YEAH", he says.  

Today is a big game being televised.  What game you ask?  The only game that matters in this house with the boys - SOCCER.  This is the Barcelona versus Real Madrid game.  Our boys are on the tail end of their summer break from school so this is a perfect way to wrap up summer vacation.









Freddy is very affection with the dogs.  Every morning and evening he likes to come into our room and nuzzle the dogs; kissing them, stroking them and talking to them.  A couple of months ago, I remember Freddy telling Mordecai "you  sure are ugly, but I love you so much".






A family of several kids might also have a "Freddy" in amongst them.  He's the one who is a free spirit.  He's the one that keeps you laughing.  He's the one that causes you to scratch your head and ask yourself - where's he coming from with that nonsense or that idea.  He's the one that will have you exasperated one minute and loving him to pieces the next.  He's the one that brings us great joy.

Rebellion, Hormones, Habits or Independence

To say that the last couple of weeks have not been a challenge, well I don't know if the word "challenge" accurately describes our day to day experiences.  I was reading this morning in the book of Isaiah "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak".  It's only because of this promise that we can do our work each day.

We currently have five boys ages 14 - 21 and one 30-something male living in our home.  The boys are either orphans, abandoned / rejected youth or the recipient of unimaginable abuse. The adult male is in the midst of a long battle to live without the dependency of alcohol.   Each one has their own personal inner struggles as well as learning to live with new found freedoms.

They are 6 males that have spent most of their lives lying, cheating, and manipulating.  This behavior is as natural to them as breathing.  These boys have survived growing up in a 3rd World Nation, need I say more. But, as Christian young men, they know what the Bible says about these works of the flesh. 

Until recently, it was easy for the boys to cover up their behavior because they could tell us anything and we "believed" them.  We did not know the spanish language. What most of our supporters and friends don't know is that we have been taking care of these boys when we have no understanding of or ability to speak Spanish.  Now, as we begin to understand the conversations that flow between them, our eyes are being opened and opened WIDE. They can no longer hide behind our lack of understanding the language.  What is fun for us, they forget that we are beginning to understand. They will sit in our presence and carry on conversations as though we were no where near them.  We may not be able to speak it well, but Preston is grasping an excellent  understanding of Spanish.  I've told him, we should continue to play dumb so they won't know how much we know of the language.  See, we are all prone to forms of manipulation.

We are discovering behavior that is inappropriate and with disobedience comes consequences.  They are not liking correction or discipline.  As we try to make the proper decisions in response to the learned information about their conduct, we ask ourselves:  are we dealing with rebellion, hormones, habits or a desire for independence.  Anyone who has raised teenagers, knows that one or all four of these traits are exhibited everyday.


In recent weeks, we have experienced an increase in fighting between the boys.  I'm not talking about verbal encounters.  The fists have been flying and tussling on the ground. As we observe their responses to our questioning and think over recent events prior to the altercations, we see a pattern of behavior. Someone has either felt slighted or they are dealing with jealousy or they are just plain angry at the world for the time being.

Oh, I have failed to mention that there are other issues that are displayed by the boys: OCD symptoms, aspberger type symptoms, ADHD.  We are not psychologists so we do not have the ability to accurately diagnose the boys.  However, there are traits in their character that require attention and the ability to understand and work through them.

We also have to remember we were teenagers once, too.  Let me tell you a funny story.  Freddy was in school last week.   While the teacher exited the room for a brief moment, our boy decided to leave also before she returned.  There was a soccer game being televised of his favorite teams - Barcelona & Madrid.  He claims a friend talked him in to leaving school so they could go watch the game. Who among us as never skipped school?  Skipping school, we can live with, watching the game in a bar - well, we have to draw a line on that one.  A 16 year old hanging out in a bar is not good.  When he came home from "school",  he acted like nothing unusual had happened in his day.   He had not been drinking from all indications; he always comes in to talk to me and/or give me a hug when he gets home and I would have detected the smell of alcohol.  It was several days later that we found out about his escapade because he was talking to his housemates.  When we confronted him, he was sad because he got caught; but he did not appear remorseful for having pulled it off.   The reason why I call it a funny story, it is typical of something that Freddy would do.  

Freddy is our child with a very adventurous spirit.  We categorize this particular stunt of leaving school and heading off to watch sports as someone wanting to exercise some independence.  Each boy is so totally different from the next.  We have spent a lot of time studying their personalities and behavior.  How we talk to and discipline one boy would not work with another.

Rommel is the name of the man that is living with us.  He has known the boys for a couple of years when they were all living in Remar.   For as long as he will be with us, he will be a great asset in helping us understand and care for the boys.  Boys are boys,  but growing up in Nicaragua is not like living in other nations.  The environment creates differences in their behavior that is not typical in many cultures.  

We ask for prayers for us, for all of us.   Preston and I desire to have increase in our understanding and patience to better care for the boys.   We ask for prayers on behalf of the boys to have patience with us as we learn about them and understand life in this nation.  Prayers for Rommel as he continues in his quest for peace and rest in his life.  And, wisdom for all of us to make the right choices in everything that we do.

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Freddy

Freddy Diaz Garcia, age 16 is the brother of our Nica child, Noel.  We were introduced to Freddy in December, 2011 when we visited the Remar facility in Managua.  He did not spend time with us during the visits, but I always noticed that he longingly watched us from a distance.  The boys had been separated for approximately 2 years as a result of Noel being transferred to the Leon facility.   

Very early in the morning on the 1st of April, Noel came into our room as we were just beginning to awaken.  He was very upset, we told him to climb into bed while he told us what was bothering him.  He had gotten a frantic phone call from his brother saying he was running away.  We had no other details and no information as to his whereabouts. Freddy had borrowed a cell phone to make the call and hung up promptly.  There were many calls to old friends in Managua trying to get more detail before Freddy called us back.  We got an exact location, told him to stay put and we would come get him. 

By 9AM, Preston was out the door with Engel and Noel heading south beyond Managua to find Freddy. They traveled on 3 different buses to get to their destination.  Time was of the essence because Freddy was alone on the streets with no money and no belongings AND it was a Sunday.   They needed to get back into Managua by a certain hour to ride the bus to Leon in order to catch the last bus in Leon to our residence.

It was a relief to see all the guys walking up the road to our home at dusk.   I opened the gate to let them in and the first one through the gate was Freddy.  He greeted me with a big hug, at the same time telling me "Thank You".

It was a joyous occasion in our home that night, Freddy and Noel together again after more than 2 years.    The boys laughed and talked for hours before we insisted that lights had to be turned out.   Noel and Engel shared clothes with him because he had nothing but what he currently wore.   The next morning we went to the market to buy shorts and underclothes.

Freddy is an affectionate boy with a wide smile and a laugh that is more like a giggle.  He loves to sit close and wrap his arm around me, as well as receive hugs.   He's bright, speaks a little English and is determined to finish school despite being at least 3 years older than the others in his grade.  (the challenge to get him enrolled in school is good reading for another post)

These 2 brothers have been through a lot in their young years.  They were placed in the Remar facility by the Family Services before the boys were 10 years of age.  They had been found wandering the streets in a mountainous town, living on their own.   We are happy that we can provide them a safe place  to live within a home atmosphere.   It is important that they remain together and not be separated.

Their future with us was in jeopardy not too long after Freddy's arrival.  The course of events played out over several days but culminated with a happy ending.  (this too will be described in another post.)